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The Michael Rosen London Foodfight
Episode # 48 (Season 4, Ep. 9)
Airdate May 28, 2020
Length 11:38

The 48th episode in The Rosen Family Chronicles, also the longest development of any TRFC episode to date (over a year and a half) and featuring a guest segment from Alyx. Watch it here.


Michael and Brian are sitting in Chocolate Swiss Cafe, on their phone and laptop respectively. Michael sees a post on Twitter and says "hashtag relatable!", which annoys Brian. Suddenly The Potatofoogle rushes in and knocks Brian over, seeing stuff going on out his window. Michael gets up to look out the window and sees another window, then looks out the other window and sees a parade passing by. After the parade passes by, a creepy melon guy is seen in the background, though it disappears shortly after. Brian asks for the check.

Michael and Older Rosen go on a walk through the nearby park (with Brian presumably following behind). Meanwhile Michael spots the melon reappearing again, but it disappears again, and then later surprises him while walking down a different path. Michael wonders why this melon is stalking him. The melon then appears in the area to question him about calling him a melon, going on a long and angry tirade about suing him or something, but then just punches Michael across the park instead.

Michael crashes into Harrybo's parked car, which means he'll have to call a tow truck. Michael tells Brian to go to the shops to fight the melon with, and he and Older Rosen (alongside The Potatofoogle who's shown up on the scene to see what happened) end up in a grocery store. Brian asks if they have wall bars there, though unsurprisingly they don't carry them. Meanwhile, Michael and the melon continue fighting, crashing into the tow truck attempting to get Harrybo's car out (and driven by Barack Obama, of course). They end up in some wide open dirt area. Michael says the melon will need some kind of special move to take him down, and the melon responds by calling Michael ugly, which Michael is momentarily deeply insulted by. But just as he's about to snap out of it, the melon rushes in to perform a Death Grip on Michael's neck. Michael is able to push the melon away, but just gets smacked against a wall himself and bouncing off Drive Properly's camera. (Not sure what he's doing in this universe but whatever, don't think too hard about that.)

Brian, Older Rosen, and The Potatofoogle show up just in time to give Michael help... in the form of a single tomato. Michael questions why they were looking at the grocery store for wall bars, but rushes in to use the tomato anyway. Shockingly, it just bounces off the melon without having any real effect. Michael then runs off as the melon continues to chase him. He then finds a frozen yogurt kiosk and asks for a strawberry ice cream. Meanwhile, The Potatofoogle crashes into the melon to momentarily stop and distract him. After a short conversation, the melon just punches The Potatofoogle away, bouncing him into Older Rosen, who punches the melon back. The melon lands right in front of Michael, who throws his ice cream at him. This does have an effect, but specifically it causes the melon to power up and enter into thicc mode. When powered up, the melon is able to spin into Michael and send him flying so far he ends up on top of the London Eye. He spins into Older Rosen as well, knocking both off the London Eye and plummeting into the Thames. They survive, of course, but are beaten up by the melon yet again and crash into a heap (alongside The Potatofoogle). Michael wonders where Brian ran off to.

Brian made it over to a different shop entirely that apparently used to carry wall bars (and run by that inspector from Holland mentioned in this episode) but unfortunately they only have sewing machines there. Brian still gets a sewing machine and runs over to throw it at the melon, which succeeds in flipping him upside down. This gives an idea to the guy at the frozen yogurt kiosk, who presses a button on his desk to shoot a sandwich over by where Older Rosen is standing. As the melon is running towards Older Rosen, he stops dead at the sight of the sandwich. Older Rosen throws the sandwich at him and that turns the melon back into his non-powered-up form, so he alongside Michael and The Potatofoogle rush in to deliver their final blows. The melon is about to get back up but is run over by the parade from earlier, who knock him into Brian, who accidentally lands his final blow on the melon and sends him flying back into the park where they started.

The melon burps up a remote of some kind (later revealed to be a Powerpoint clicker), and the guy from the yogurt kiosk shows up next to him, taking off his purple shirt and revealing his true identity to be Sir Chameleon. As Sir Chameleon is about to arrest the melon, the melon just runs away into the Thames and is run over by a boat and killed, so Sir Chameleon just comes back to the Rosens to talk to them about what just happened, inviting them onto his helicopter. (The Potatofoogle declines to join them after being jokingly compared to bacon.)

They get to the Is-Erael 8 base, where Sir Chameleon briefs them on their results of the Lollipop Lady interrogation. He lets them know that she had in fact been hypnotized and that the shadow people following Michael around are probably the ones behind it, having taken orders from someone called The Hamburger Cook, who is after some kind of artifacts called the Mars Fryingpans (which Older Rosen recognizes). Also the melon (real name Geeplug Pu Melanai) was apparently hired by them to get Michael out of their way. Additionally, there's even more trouble afoot, as Sir Chameleon lets them know that the mayor of Rio had his flat bombed the previous week, which means these people may be making even more Lollipop Ladies or something even more dangerous. But just then, a transmission comes in from The Hamburger Cook himself, daring Michael to come to Rio again. Sir Chameleon wonders how they got past 24/7 PC Guard, but Michael just says it's time to go back to Rio anyway...


  • "Super Marioland Millennium OC ReMoved" by Deep Black Skys
  • "George Street Shuffle" by Kevin MacLeod
  • "Parade" by Air
  • "I'm Getting Sentimental Over You" by Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
  • "Dig Your Own Hole" by The Chemical Brothers
  • "Dilla Says Go" by J Dilla
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaOnw_kCcYU
  • "Anakin's Dark Deeds" by John Williams
  • "Pre-Hibernation" by Pantera
  • "Stardancer" by Michael Walthius
  • "Archangel" by Two Steps from Hell
  • "Eve of Destruction" by The Chemical Brothers
  • "Denmark" by The Chemical Brothers
  • "Ping Pong" by Stereolab
  • "Purifications Pt. 1 & 2" by Funkshone
  • "MacArthur Park Suite" by Donna Summer
  • "Miss Modular" by Stereolab
  • "Xtal" by Aphex Twin
  • "The Ward" by ThumpMonks (Submachine: FLF soundtrack)
  • "Lights Go Down Knives Come Out" by Hybrid
  • "The Loop" by ThumpMonks (Submachine 3 soundtrack)
  • "Training Montage" by Zircon