|The Presents Inspector|
|First Appears In||The Six O'Clock Nose|
The Presents Inspector is a secondary character in The Rosen Family Chronicles. Not much is known about him as of now but it is known for sure his affiliation with Lollipop Lady, being one of her accomplices. He's known mostly for saying "Sandwiches" a lot and being the only non-CD-i character to wear a hat (at least before Mervin was introduced).
The Presents Inspector has actually been around for quite a long time. His earliest appearance was in a flashback with Michael Rosen and Harrybo Scheddle running around (presumably in their high school years). He can be seen standing by the side of the road and saying "Sandwiches" over and over. Also, at one point shortly after Older Rosen moved into his flat, he tried stealing a slice of chocolate cake from him, which went over about as well as you'd expect. He got hit by a car but he survived.
The Presents Inspector was interviewed by Brian Rosen for The Six O'Clock Nose, where he identified himself as "Jack Davis" and proceeded to detail how he has big toenails for his little toes and little toenails for his big toes.
Michael Rosen first got to actually know The Presents Inspector when he met him in Hackney Dans putting blank notices around the streets. The Presents Inspector claimed to be "Eileen Ogle" and to run a trance school, and then that his name was "Jack Davis" and that he ran a trance school, but Michael didn't believe him, so he truly identified himself as The Presents Inspector.
At some point he joined forces with Lollipop Lady, and was assigned by her to attack Michael Rosen upon his arrival in Rio de Janiero. After a bit of chasing around he was eventually beaten by Older Rosen and brought in for questioning by Michael, where he let drop the fact that Lollipop Lady is somewhere in the Amazon. Lollipop Lady, angry that he failed his mission, threw an explosive lollipop at his face. The Presents Inspector survived, though, saying "Don't worry about it!" Michael later spotted The Presents Inspector in the middle of an operation at The Royal Snatch where they were discussing keeping the secret of Lollipop Lady's location from Michael. The Presents Inspector pretended that he hadn't actually told Michael that Lollipop Lady was in the Amazon. He also thought he saw Michael but changed his mind (until Mark Sabine unmasked him).
The Presents Inspector did not make another appearance until much later, on Michael's 69th birthday, to be exact. He broke into the TV Studios attempting to steal Michael's fridge, however he made a loud crashing noise in the process and was caught red-handed by Michael. This didn't stop him from trying to take the fridge anyway, as he ran out of the studios carrying the fridge. Michael chased him all around Hackney, until they were both nailed by one of Tim Rowett's toy guns and sent flying into the air. They landed on top of the Reeves & Sons Ltd building, and The Presents Inspector challenged Michael to one last fight, threatening to use Michael's fridge as his weapon. Unfortunately for him, Michael found a wall bar on the roof, and easily defeated him. Michael warned The Presents Inspector not to mess with him again. The Presents Inspector, in a daze, simply responded with "Sandwiches, sandwiches, sandwiches."
During Christmas once, the Presents Inspector was interviewed by Harrybo, who asked him what he likes about Christmas. The Presents inspector replied by saying that he likes sandwiches and has a bunch of them. Later during that night, he comes across Harrybo with an envelope of fried fish. He comes up to Harrybo and tells the latter that he needs to check for certain substances in the envelope. (It is unknown if this is part of a current job the inspector has or if he's just screwing around. Most likely the latter.) He doesn't really specify what exactly he's checking for though, instead throwing a paper bag with sandwiches inside at Harrybo. The Presents Inspector eventually just gets caught up in his rant about Sandwiches, saying it over and over again and causing Harrybo to leave.