Jurassic World: Dominion Dominates Fandom Wikis - The Loop

Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady!
Episode # 1 (Season 1, Ep. 1)
Airdate March 10, 2013
Length 2:48

The first episode in The Rosen Family Chronicles, also 256PiAlternate's entry for the Michael Rosen 67th Birthday Collab. Watch it here.


Michael Rosen and Harrybo Scheddle are walking in Hackney Dans when an unknown person claims to be putting on a show for "a terrifying creature called the Lollipop Lady". They go into the show tent to see the show out of curiousity, when Lollipop Lady comes out and attacks Harrybo, threatening to murder him. Michael responds by taking out his gold ring and placing it in between Lollipop Lady's breasts, then waving a conker to and fro in front of her eyes, talking in his spooky voice "WAAAAAAAATCH THE CONKER, WAAAAAAAATCH THE CONKER" in an attempt to hypnotize her. This does not work, Lollipop Lady only says "Scram, Michael Rosen, if I hear any of this once more, I shall murder you, too." This is a puzzle to Michael, so he asks her how she knows his name. She just says "Scram, I want complete quiet." Suddenly, Michael's gold ring mysteriously starts vibrating, rattling Lollipop Lady's breasts and distracting her. Michael then goes over to the nearest car (despite claiming to not be able to drive properly) and tries to drive the car into Lollipop Lady. She and Harrybo scream, and then Michael shouts out to her, "Lollipop Lady, why don't we go to London Airport for your wallbars??" Lollipop Lady screams and falls unconscious, and Michael shouts out "NOOOOOOO BREATHING! Always knew you were a bit weak!" while Harrybo flees the scene. Survival.

Michael remarks that he wants his gold ring back for his birthday.


  • "SkyWorld" by Two Steps from Hell


256Pi's The Rosen Family Chronicles Episodes
Season 1: Meet the Rosens: Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady! | Michael Rosen's Random Train Ride | Michael's Parents Get High | Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady, Round II | What's This Ear? | Don't Be Cheeky | The Six O'Clock Nose | Michael Goes To The Fridge | Michael's Horrible Halloween | Michael's Dead Book of Solomon Jizz | The Presents Inspector | Michael's Somewhat Noice Christmas | Michael's Chocolate Swiss Cafe Adventure | Shakespearean Michael

Season 2: The Rosens Go To Rio: Harrybo's House | Beneath The Café | Rio Rosen | The Royal Snatch | The Six O'Clock Nose Returns | The Last Stand of Augmented Reality Rog | Clichés at the Café | Brian's Stories | Michael's Big Zeydon't of The Corner of The Youngest Dead Fryingpan | Michael's First Horrible Halloween | Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady, Round III

Season 3: More Stuff Happens, But Not Much Of Note: Michael's Somewhat Noicer Christmas | Ten Rosen Family Vacation Tapes | One Day At Chocolate Swiss Cafe | Michael's Not-So-Birthday-Related Birthday | Augmented Reality Rog's Triumphant Return | Hackney's Got Talent | Two Tales from Nothingham | Michael's Last Ice Cream To Me Every Dead Floor Roaring Downstairs | Michael's Other Horrible Halloween | Christmas Procrastination | Tim Gets His Own Episode | Hackney's Got Talent 2 | Chocolate Chase | Michael's Memory Lane Movie Making

Season 4: The Drip-Fed Conclusions: Michael's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure | Brian's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure | Michael Rosen Butchers Bullitt | Michael's Cold Chutney, Warm Stinks, and Hot Mouth When You're Eating Dead Ice Cream | Sir Chameleon's Last Questioning (or, The Backstory Episode) | A Verybo Merrybo Harrybo | The Rosens' Disappointing Stateside Vacation | One Particularly Windy Evening... | The Michael Rosen London Foodfight | The Return to Rio | TBA

Related series/videos: The King & Friends Randomness | The Rosen Venture | Dave-K's Tower | The Michael Rosen Birthday Collabs | Nintendom64's King & Mick's Mealy Trilogy (King & Mick's Bready Adventure | Mike & Harky's Milky Crusade | TBA) | Harrybo & The Michael Rosen have a lovely dinner

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.