256Pi's The Rosen Family Chronicles Wiki
Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady!
Episode # 1 (Season 1, Ep. 1)
Airdate March 10, 2013
Length 2:48

The first episode in The Rosen Family Chronicles, also 256PiAlternate's entry for the Michael Rosen 67th Birthday Collab. Watch it here.


Michael Rosen and Harrybo Scheddle are walking in Hackney Dans when an unknown person claims to be putting on a show for "a terrifying creature called the Lollipop Lady". They go into the show tent to see the show out of curiousity, when Lollipop Lady comes out and attacks Harrybo, threatening to murder him. Michael responds by taking out his gold ring and placing it in between Lollipop Lady's breasts, then waving a conker to and fro in front of her eyes, talking in his spooky voice "WAAAAAAAATCH THE CONKER, WAAAAAAAATCH THE CONKER" in an attempt to hypnotize her. This does not work, Lollipop Lady only says "Scram, Michael Rosen, if I hear any of this once more, I shall murder you, too." This is a puzzle to Michael, so he asks her how she knows his name. She just says "Scram, I want complete quiet." Suddenly, Michael's gold ring mysteriously starts vibrating, rattling Lollipop Lady's breasts and distracting her. Michael then goes over to the nearest car (despite claiming to not be able to drive properly) and tries to drive the car into Lollipop Lady. She and Harrybo scream, and then Michael shouts out to her, "Lollipop Lady, why don't we go to London Airport for your wallbars??" Lollipop Lady screams and falls unconscious, and Michael shouts out "NOOOOOOO BREATHING! Always knew you were a bit weak!" while Harrybo flees the scene. Survival.

Michael remarks that he wants his gold ring back for his birthday.


  • "SkyWorld" by Two Steps from Hell