|Occupation||Poet, TV show host|
|Related to||Brian Rosen (brother), Older Rosen and Richard Rosen (cousins), Harold & Connie Rosen (parents)|
|Age||74 (b. 7 May 1946)|
|First Appears In||Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady!|
Michael Rosen is the main character and usual narrator in The Rosen Family Chronicles.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Birth & Childhood[edit | edit source]
Michael Wayne Rosen was born on May 7, 1946 in Middlesex, England. Not much is known regarding his childhood, however it has been theorized by some that he is happy, some say he is sad, some say he is crazy, and others think he is mad. Michael himself has given the statement that he swam the English Channel and became Prime Minister before turning ten years old but there has been no evidence to support his claims. He most likely only did things along the lines of eating soapy flannels or bags of plums.
When he was one his parents gave him a gold ring, which he has kept with him since.
While in elementary school he met Harrybo Scheddle, who went on to become one of his closest friends.
University Life[edit | edit source]
Michael attended the University of Nottingham, where he studied poetry and broadcasting. He often visited the cafe known as Le Bonaparte (now Chocolate Swiss Cafe) and there he met a waitress named Joanna Schram, who became his girlfriend. Unfortunately they were forced to separate shortly after graduation due to differing careers, and they never saw each other again until many years later (I think you know what I mean).
Michael also went to school with his childhood friend Harrybo Scheddle, as well as Jack (last name unknown), thought to be a drug dealer. Michael went to prison for one evening after accidentally consuming eight various pills (given to him by Harrybo, who got them from Jack, to hide) and running around in a drug-induced haze around the gymnasium.
Recent Life[edit | edit source]
TV Shows and Current Residence[edit | edit source]
Michael currently lives in London (in Hackney) with his brother Brian. The two host a successful talk show entitled Don't Be Cheeky, which has featured a number of musical guests on it such as Paul and Phil Hartnoll of Orbital and Brian Transeau aka BT. Despite several interruptions from Older Rosen, one involving a train plowing through the studio, the show has been very successful. Michael also hosted a less-successful news show entitled The Six O'Clock Nose, a news program that only aired 2-3 times, and a short-lived game show entitled What's This Ear?, which was unfortunately canceled after only one episode, though it did appear one more time on Michael's birthday. Michael has since responded to the failure of this show by unofficially referring to it as F*** Off.
Involvement with Lollipop Lady[edit | edit source]
At one point a terrorist woman by the name of "Lollipop Lady" attacked his friend Harrybo, to which Michael responded by first attempting to hypnotize her into stopping the attack, and after failing in that regard, nearly running her over with a car (even though he can't drive properly) and threatening to take her to London Airport "for her wall bars", making her panic and run away. For whatever reason no police were involved in the incident, and Michael, Harrybo, and Lollipop Lady left the scene unharmed. Michael, however, lost his gold ring in between Lollipop Lady's breasts.
Some time later, Michael received the news that a plane crash had occurred due to an exploding lollipop stuck to the windshield. He immediately assumed that Lollipop Lady was responsible for the crime and took his brother out to London Airport to investigate. They jumped out of a tour bus, and attempted to fly a jet to search the surrounding area. However, another lollipop landed on the plane and sent it into a crash landing. Michael was able to land the plane semi-safely but he and Brian were rendered unconscious. He woke up in the basement of someone's house in the Outskirts, and after... um, escaping, reunited with his brother in front of a tower. After a mysterious loud noise came from the tower, Brian decided he'd had enough of the whole thing and ran away (scaredy cat). Michael instead went inside the tower, and shortly after found Lollipop Lady inside. She tried to repel him by throwing hundreds of exploding lollipops around, but Michael found a set of wall bars in the area and threatened to "bang her really hard and fast", to which she responded by screaming and jumping out of the window of the tower.
Michael later went with Brian and his cousin Older Rosen to Rio de Janiero to apprehend Lollipop Lady once more, and after various scuffles with her subordinates (including The Presents Inspector and Abdul The Big Guy) Michael pinpointed her location inside a temple, and after another fight (which lasted a long time), Michael hit her in the head with a wall bar, knocking her out, and Is-Erael 8 agent Sir Chameleon arrested her and took her to prison. Michael shortly reacquired his gold ring.
After Lollipop Lady's Terrorism[edit | edit source]
Some time later, Michael decided to go on vacation with Brian and Older Rosen to Chicago. However, the cheapest arrangement he could find was to send them on different flights. The trip turned out to be a disaster, with Michael being pushed out of the plane by some unknown people into the Chicago River, Brian ending up in Las Vegas since Michael bought the wrong ticket for him, and Older Rosen being himself, teleporting around America (expected lol) and crashing Las Vegas in the process. They eventually got their stuff organized and managed to get back to London.
Involvement with The Hamburger Cook[edit | edit source]
Sometime later, Michael and Brian were sitting in Chocolate Swiss Cafe when the Potatofoogle tells them to look out the window. The two then get up to look out the window and see a parade passing by. After the parade passes by, Michael sees a creepy melon guy in the background, though it disappears shortly after, and he thinks nothing of it. Afterwards, Michael and Older Rosen are walking through the park, and the melon guy pops up again and attacks them. After a series of escapades involving an apple, strawberry ice cream, a sewing machine, and a sandwich, the melon guy is defeated after being ran over by a boat. Michael, Older Rosen, and Brian are then taken to Is-Erael 8 Headquarters by Sir Chameleon to be briefed on the Hamburger Cook (as well as other things). They then intercept a transmission from the Hamburger Cook, who bypasses 24/7 PC Guard and tells Michael to come back to Rio (which we will see in The Return to Rio).