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Michael's Dead Book of Solomon Jizz
Episode # 10 (Season 1, Ep. 10)
Airdate November 17, 2013
Length 5:10

The tenth episode in The Rosen Family Chronicles. Watch it here.


Older Rosen is standing on Platform Nine and Three Quarters at Pinner Station at half past twenty thousand. He chocolate cakes to his train with a piece of chocolate cake in his butt (don't tell your mother) when his Rosen-O-Phone rings. He answers it and hears a mysterious voice saying "My name is Eileen Ogle and I'm living in The Shop Downstairs". The call abruptly ends shortly afterword.

Older Rosen segues into how he noticed that Michael and Brian Rosen are different as he teleports to the TV studio where Michael and Brian are filming Don't Be Cheeky to get his chocolate bagels. At the studio, Michael is about to tell his audience what he and his brother are gonna do today, but Older Rosen comes in and sends Michael flying across the room (which seems to happen a lot whenever Older Rosen teleports in front of someone) and chocolates his way over to the TV to get his bagels. As he takes them out, Brian asks what he's doing, to which Older Rosen replies "I'm going". He then teleports back to the station (Platform Nothing and Four Quarters at Fryingpan Station, to be precise) and waits for the express train. The train arrives and Older Rosen chocolate cakes onto it and sits down. The train starts moving, and he decides that it could do with just a little bit of chocolate bagels and he flicks the bagels around the train until it starts shaking and flies into the air.

The scene switches to Brian who's telling the audience about how he's trying to kill a fly on the roll with a rolled up...something. Before he gets the fly, the train crashes into the studio and flies off again, taking Brian with it. Michael sees the whole thing but concludes that he must have drank too much cooking oil. While the train is in the air. Brian spots Older Rosen in one of the windows and asks what he is doing, to which Older Rosen responds "Oh yeah, you know, stuff. Egg on toast I think". Brian then facepalms as Older Rosen points out another flying train that carries Brian off. Meanwhile, Michael is drinking peach syrup and is carried off by the same train Brian is on. He thinks he's taken off and flown into the air. Older Rosen suddenly sees The Shop Downstairs, as the train comes in for a crash landing.

Thankfully his train conveniently disappears into thin air for no reason, as pointed out by Michael. Older Rosen then tells him to get out of his YTP. Michael does so and goes to help Brian instead, who is stuck on the roof of a house. Older Rosen starts looking for The Shop Downstairs in the hope of finding Eileen Ogle, while chanting "Clear the shop downstairs out from under the street, clear the shop downstairs out from under the street". He finds it and chocolate cakes inside. Rob, the shop keeper, asks if he wants anything to eat. Older Rosen does, but doesn't know what. He then hears the mysterious voice again, saying "My name is Eileen Ogle and I'm living in the shop downstairs" and demands to know what the voice is. Rob says that is the telly. Older Rosen comments on what an idiot he was to have believed that the voice was a real person, but wonders how the little voice got in his Rosen-O-Phone.


  • "All Highways Run In Reverse" by 256Pi (download here)
  • "Happy Up Here" by Röyksopp
  • "Private Eye" by Kevin Macleod
  • "Everything Takes Longer Than It Takes" by 256Pi (download here)
  • "9000 Miles" by Pendulum
  • "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall
  • "EVA-01" from Neon Genesis Evangelion OST
  • "Cotangent" by 256Pi (download here)
  • "Gang-Plank Galleon" from Donkey Kong Country OST


  • First episode with Older Rosen in the starring role. Something which would become a staple of TRFC across all seasons.
  • There is a noticeable glowing outline that Brian has in a few shots. This is removed in the remastered comp. version.

256Pi's The Rosen Family Chronicles Episodes
Season 1: Meet the Rosens: Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady! | Michael Rosen's Random Train Ride | Michael's Parents Get High | Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady, Round II | What's This Ear? | Don't Be Cheeky | The Six O'Clock Nose | Michael Goes To The Fridge | Michael's Horrible Halloween | Michael's Dead Book of Solomon Jizz | The Presents Inspector | Michael's Somewhat Noice Christmas | Michael's Chocolate Swiss Cafe Adventure | Shakespearean Michael

Season 2: The Rosens Go To Rio: Harrybo's House | Beneath The Café | Rio Rosen | The Royal Snatch | The Six O'Clock Nose Returns | The Last Stand of Augmented Reality Rog | Clichés at the Café | Brian's Stories | Michael's Big Zeydon't of The Corner of The Youngest Dead Fryingpan | Michael's First Horrible Halloween | Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady, Round III

Season 3: More Stuff Happens, But Not Much Of Note: Michael's Somewhat Noicer Christmas | Ten Rosen Family Vacation Tapes | One Day At Chocolate Swiss Cafe | Michael's Not-So-Birthday-Related Birthday | Augmented Reality Rog's Triumphant Return | Hackney's Got Talent | Two Tales from Nothingham | Michael's Last Ice Cream To Me Every Dead Floor Roaring Downstairs | Michael's Other Horrible Halloween | Christmas Procrastination | Tim Gets His Own Episode | Hackney's Got Talent 2 | Chocolate Chase | Michael's Memory Lane Movie Making

Season 4: The Drip-Fed Conclusions: Michael's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure | Brian's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure | Michael Rosen Butchers Bullitt | Michael's Cold Chutney, Warm Stinks, and Hot Mouth When You're Eating Dead Ice Cream | Sir Chameleon's Last Questioning (or, The Backstory Episode) | A Verybo Merrybo Harrybo | The Rosens' Disappointing Stateside Vacation | One Particularly Windy Evening... | The Michael Rosen London Foodfight | The Return to Rio | TBA

Related series/videos: The King & Friends Randomness | The Rosen Venture | Dave-K's Tower | The Michael Rosen Birthday Collabs | Nintendom64's King & Mick's Mealy Trilogy (King & Mick's Bready Adventure | Mike & Harky's Milky Crusade | TBA) | Harrybo & The Michael Rosen have a lovely dinner

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