256Pi's The Rosen Family Chronicles Wiki
Hackney's Got Talent 2
Episode # 37 (Season 3, Ep. 12)
Airdate May 9th, 2016
Length 5:47

The 37th episode in The Rosen Family Chronicles and 256Pi's entry to the Michael Rosen 70th Birthday Collab. Watch it here.  


The episode begins with Mervin Scheddle talking to Michael Rosen once again. Michael is complaining that he does not want Hackney's Got Talent to continue further, and wants Mervin to cancel it. Mervin at first says no, but Michael insists, since the show was still not the same rating-grabber that Don't Be Cheeky is. Michael even volunteers to come up with a new show to replace it later, and Mervin finally gives in, but tells Michael to make the last episode count.

Days later, the next episode of Hackney's Got Talent airs. Michael introduces the usual judges (i.e. himself, Brian, Harrybo, and Older Rosen), and they immediately get started. Once again, the first contestant is Tim Rowett, who plays a cover of "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin on his toy violin although is cut off by Mayor Kravindish tackling him. Michael gives Tim a 7, Brian gives an 8, Harrybo an 8, and Older Rosen (big surprise) awards a score of 7 and 3/4, also interrupting Harrybo in the middle of giving his rating. Harrybo tells him to let him finish next time. The average score for Tim is 7 and 3/4, which Older Rosen subtly points out.

Next up is the Chuckle Brothers, who perform a mashup of their rap collaboration with Tinchy Stryder "To Me To You" with Jay-Z's "Ain't No Love (Heart of the City)". Michael asks what they're doing, and Harrybo says that they're doing the Michael Rosen Rap. Paul Chuckle agrees. Michael gives the Chuckles a 5, Brian gives a 6, Harrybo gives an 8, and Older Rosen rates them 'Stuff'. Michael told Older to give The Chuckle Brothers and Tinchy Stryder a number rating, and he said "A number, please". He can't think of a good excuse for this rating so he says he can't help himself, but it all starts when he nibbles the chocolate cake in his belly. Brian notes you can't nibble something in your belly but Michael moves on anyways. The average score for the Chuckle Brothers is 6 and 1/2.

Third is of course Mark Sabine. Harrybo had earlier bet Michael £10 that Mark would be next and immediately brings up that Michael owes him. Mark then begins his act, by singing the bassline to and then dancing to "Sexy Dancer" by 808 State. Michael cuts him off by repeatedly saying "No" (in response to his less-than-stellar dance moves). Brian pokes Michael in the face to get him to shut up and offers Mark a chance to try something else, but Mark has nothing else, so Michael immediately rates him a 4 (which The King responds to offscreen). Brian gives a 7, and Older Rosen adds onto that rating with his usual rating of 7 and 3/4. Harrybo gives a 6 and complains to Older Rosen that he said to let him finish. Older Rosen says that he did, and Harrybo catches on that he literally did finish since he was the last one to give a rating, but is interrupted by Kanye West shooting in from out of nowhere and tackling Mark for no reason, shouting "I'MMA LET YOU FINISH!" before crashing into the wall. The average score for Mark is 6 and 1/4.

The last contestant is Zelda, who brings in The King to help her out. Michael is unsurprisingly very peeved at this and smashes his head into the table. The King steals Tim's violin and begins to play "El Dorado" by Two Steps From Hell, joined by Zelda on the flute. The King then ditches the violin and just sings the rest while Zelda plays on her flute and Tim picks up the violin to join in for some reason. After it's all over, Michael once again gives them a 4. They are at first shocked, but Brian gives a 9 and Harrybo gives a 10 - while Older Rosen rates them 'Egg On Chocolate Bagels'. He doesn't even bother to explain that. The average score for The King and Zelda is 8, making them the highest scored contestants and therefore the final winners of Hackney's Got Talent. The studio crowd applauds them, and Michael is about to close out the show, but Mervin interrupts him to wish him happy birthday and get the crowd to do the same. A confetti cannon goes off directly under Brian. Michael then closes the episode and the series, and tells the audience they'll see him next time on the next show.


  • "Elevator Music" by Khuskan
  • "Run-Down Pyramid" from Wario Land: Shake It! OST
  • "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin (orchestral cover)
  • "To Me, To You" by Tinchy Stryder & The Chuckle Brothers
  • "Ain't No Love (Heart Of The City)" by Jay-Z
  • "Sexy Dancer" by 808 State
  • "El Dorado" by Two Steps from Hell
  • "Staff Credits" from Super Mario 64 OST

256Pi's The Rosen Family Chronicles Episodes
Season 1: Meet the Rosens: Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady! | Michael Rosen's Random Train Ride | Michael's Parents Get High | Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady, Round II | What's This Ear? | Don't Be Cheeky | The Six O'Clock Nose | Michael Goes To The Fridge | Michael's Horrible Halloween | Michael's Dead Book of Solomon Jizz | The Presents Inspector | Michael's Somewhat Noice Christmas | Michael's Chocolate Swiss Cafe Adventure | Shakespearean Michael

Season 2: The Rosens Go To Rio: Harrybo's House | Beneath The Café | Rio Rosen | The Royal Snatch | The Six O'Clock Nose Returns | The Last Stand of Augmented Reality Rog | Clichés at the Café | Brian's Stories | Michael's Big Zeydon't of The Corner of The Youngest Dead Fryingpan | Michael's First Horrible Halloween | Michael Rosen Vs. The Lollipop Lady, Round III

Season 3: More Stuff Happens, But Not Much Of Note: Michael's Somewhat Noicer Christmas | Ten Rosen Family Vacation Tapes | One Day At Chocolate Swiss Cafe | Michael's Not-So-Birthday-Related Birthday | Augmented Reality Rog's Triumphant Return | Hackney's Got Talent | Two Tales from Nothingham | Michael's Last Ice Cream To Me Every Dead Floor Roaring Downstairs | Michael's Other Horrible Halloween | Christmas Procrastination | Tim Gets His Own Episode | Hackney's Got Talent 2 | Chocolate Chase | Michael's Memory Lane Movie Making

Season 4: The Drip-Fed Conclusions: Michael's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure | Brian's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure | Michael Rosen Butchers Bullitt | Michael's Cold Chutney, Warm Stinks, and Hot Mouth When You're Eating Dead Ice Cream | Sir Chameleon's Last Questioning (or, The Backstory Episode) | A Verybo Merrybo Harrybo | The Rosens' Disappointing Stateside Vacation | One Particularly Windy Evening... | The Michael Rosen London Foodfight | The Return to Rio | TBA

Related series/videos: The King & Friends Randomness | The Rosen Venture | Dave-K's Tower | The Michael Rosen Birthday Collabs | Nintendom64's King & Mick's Mealy Trilogy (King & Mick's Bready Adventure | Mike & Harky's Milky Crusade | TBA) | Harrybo & The Michael Rosen have a lovely dinner