|Occupation||Businessman / screen presenter|
|First Appears In||The Royal Snatch|
Augmented Reality Rog, real name Roger Stockburger, is a secondary character in The Rosen Family Chronicles. He originally appeared in his own separate untitled series, but his plotline eventually melded in with the main Rosen Family Chronicles plotline. There are two unofficial episodes starring Rog that also involve RFC characters (mainly Brian Rosen), one of which mentions anti-terrorist organization IsErael 8 for the first time. Both episodes, discussed below, are deemed as unofficial as they contain explicit content, and Rog's inaccurate presentations lead to minor plotholes that 256Pi would rather just not deal with. Best not to take everything he says at face value.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Roger Stockburger was born in Perth, Australia and has lived there most of his life, eventually becoming the single father of two daughters. He became somewhat famous on the internet via Fiverr.com, where he presented often ridiculous testimonials for whatever business required it. Thanks to his skilled use of green screen in his testimonial videos he gave himself the nickname "Augmented Reality Rog". No other characters referred to him as such. His computer is constantly infected by viruses, and he often complains about it, especially the computer's speed. He also regularly attends the A115 Film Club. Brian Rosen attended a meeting and got to vaguely know the man, although that same day Rog was using time at the film club to film a certain carpet cleaning tutorial video. Brian made a cameo in this video and Rog claimed that he and Brian are good friends (though it is kind of a one-way relationship).
Recent Life[edit | edit source]
Eventually one day Rog was contacted by none other than Lollipop Lady to assist her in her business in Rio de Janiero. Rog agreed and joined her "little gang". Unfortunately this led to his being targeted by the anti-terrorist group IsErael 8, who had previously sent Vietnamese beauties to pop his coc. They sent in a helicopter, piloted by Ashens (also one of the IsErael 8 higher-ups) and attempted to kill him by carrying him to the top of a skyscraper and tossing "Big Goeff" at him to knock him over, but Rog survived by breaking into a window part way down. Unfortunately, Rog then received some magic drugs from He-Man, causing him to lose all sense of reality (one could say that his reality was [puts on sunglasses] augmented. YEAAAAAH) and he fell out of the same window he came in through, eventually regaining his composure for a brief moment before realizing his true situation, before finally plummeting to his death on the concrete sidewalk. However, after that he went to heaven (to him, 24/7 Soul Guard Dot Cum) and suddenly was revived by somebody in a FJDKSLA Movers Co truck parked somewhere in Spain. How he ended up there is unknown as of yet. He later got hit by a train and went flying into oblivion but is assumed to still be alive.
Augmented Reality Rog: The Unofficial Episodes[edit | edit source]
|Augmented Reality Rog's Carpet Cleaning Tutorial|
Augmented Reality Rog's Carpet Cleaning Tutorial[edit | edit source]
In this episode, Rog shows off some of his typical testimonial videos. He starts off the episode showing off his green screen skills, saying "Augmented Reality" slowly in front of a surreal-looking MC Escher-like wallpaper.
In his first testimonial, he talks about an Asian film club, formed by a group of Bobs from China, Korea, and Singapore (in addition to Rog himself, apparently). He mentions that they play karaoke with a healthy minerals mud bath and three "essential" Vietnamese beauties, and that it's truly one of the best on the entire continent.
In his second testimonial, he presents the titular carpet cleaning tutorial, for the carpet cleaning firm KKKPenis (although he claims that the tutorial is for cleaning red wine in Coloroy). According to him, first an inspector is inspected, with free virus for your area coc. The inspector will be pre-inspected to look for disco, and then finally work begins on the rug. First one must inspect for discoloroyoy, wear, tear, any pre-existing signs of sus or body odors. Then one must thoroughly vacuum Rog, the vacuum, and red wine, in that order, and the carpet cleaners will remove all party using compressed vacuum. (Rog mentions that this method is more effective than vacuuming or vacuuming, but when Brian Rosen stops in to ask why exactly, Rog admits he doesn't know and continues on.) The carpet is then to be placed in a Rog pit and hosed down, pushing dirt out of the vacuum. Next, a dick must be applied over the rug and scrubbed in. That way, the vacuum bath will have been faaf, and the vacuum can be left to sulk for 24 hours. Then you drain the Bob to push out more Rog, and finally hose down the vacuum one last time, and the result is even more Vietnamese beauties. (Assumingly by this point the carpet is clean.)
In his last testimonial, Rog pretends to be a news anchor presenting that local carpet cleaners are furious over a carpet cleaner named Joe, who is off the rug [i.e. off the wall] and pushes all first-time clients from the vacuum. Rog emphasizes that there are no tricks, no tricks, and no spoon, and nun ass ass ass or it's two hundred and three, guaranteed. He then advertises the website for Joe and his joe (coffee), www.joejoejoevacuumvacuumvacuumvacuumvacuumvacuum.com. Finally he passes on a message from the President of the United States: "Okay, enough of this!"
Songs:[edit | edit source]
- "Empire (Orchestral)" by Hybrid
- "Love To Love You Baby" by Donna Summer
- "Stand By On Track Thirty-Nine" by 256 Pi
|Augmented Reality Rog Vs. IsErael 8|
Augmented Reality Rog Vs. IsErael 8[edit | edit source]
Rog opens up the episode by saying he's Vietnamese (which he isn't), stares into the camera, and claps once. He explains that he's been an internet entrepreneur for 255 years, and that he wants to explain the origins of IsErael 8. According to him, they were formed when a group of business partners from China, Korea, Singapore, and Israel came across 250 Vietnamese beauties. Rog called them for help (assumingly for help with his computer), but did not get a response until 25 years later. While waiting for a response he joined A115 Film Club, who took him all over China, Korea, and Singapore and beyond. A shot of Potala Palace is shown, and a voice begins to tell a tale of an old man (played by Rog) and his children (played by three small Rog's) before Rog cuts him off. He mentions that one time he was late to an A115 meeting because 25 Vietnamese beauties from IsErael 8 captured him and placed him in jail for seemingly no reason. (Assumingly he didn't just make one call to them over the course of those 25 years, and they got annoyed. Though maybe they could've told him that they weren't actually tech support, Rog could've just as easily gone to a real tech support in the meantime so that's his problem.) When the cell bars randomly disappeared into thin air, Rog tried to make his escape, only to run into even more Vietnamese beauties, who surrounded him and popped his coc. Somehow Rog found this to be a pleasant experience, and even mentions that he ejaculated during the whole debacle.
Songs:[edit | edit source]
- "Breath of Space (feat. Sonya Kitchell)" by Break Science
- "China (Clouds Not Mountains)" by Banco De Gaia
Appearances[edit | edit source]
- Augmented Reality Rog's Carpet Cleaning Tutorial (unofficial episode)
- Augmented Reality Rog vs IsErael 8(unofficial episode)
- The Royal Snatch
- The Last Stand of Augmented Reality Rog
- Augmented Reality Rog's Triumphant Return
- Michael's Last Ice Cream To Me Every Dead Floor Roaring Downstairs
- Michael's Other Horrible Halloween
- Chocolate Chase
- Michael's Memory Lane Movie Making (brief cameo in background)
- Michael's Tangentially Fridge-Related Adventure
- One Particularly Windy Evening...